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BEING A CERTAIN AGE

When you reach a certain age, the activities of your youth, the folly of being young, the derring-do attitude of days gone-by that resulted in all manner of bumps, bruises and broken limbs, tend to haunt you. This is especially so upon waking.

The last few weeks have taken a particularly tasking toll on me. The damp weather, the up and down temperatures; one day its winter, the next, a forty degree rise in temperature, and then two days later it’s fifteen degrees cooler and rainy. The intense political climate and the churned up existential angst accompanying it, is partly responsible as well, I am sure.

Back issues, shoulder surgery, knee surgery, all my joints that ever experienced acute articulation from decades studying martial arts, make it impossible for me to spring out of bed and get stuck into the days activities. It has, I must admit, been sometime since I have sprung into anything, at anytime of day or night.

Oh, there are medications. That too comes with being a certain age, (which, by the way, and comparatively speaking, is not that old). A pill for blood pressure, a pill for cholesterol, a pill so I don’t wake up five times during the night to piss, and so on. Pain medications are not my favorite. They give me bad headaches and nausea. Also, I am still a workingman, and the nature of my employment requires drug testing and prohibits me from working if I take certain medications prescribed by my doctor.

Meandering trains of thought are another aspect of being a certain age, but I am coming to my point.

Last night, I had a dream. I dreamt that there was a marijuana strain that elevated one’s mood and reduced pain without being detectable as a cannabinoid. In my dream, my wife offered me this, though now that I am awake, I cannot be sure it was her or if I was remembering my youth. In any case, I vaped it. And immediately, I was in a better mood and free from pain! The beauty of it all was that it would go undetected in any drug screen, and this I was very happy about for I c
ould remain employed.

This dream kept me sleeping all night long. I slept in, as a matter of fact. When I woke up, I didn’t spring out of bed, but I didn’t have near the symptoms I had been complaining about for the last few weeks. I took the dog for a long walk, got ready for work, made my lunch, read a bit and only now, as I am about to leave for work, is the mild euphoria of my dream fading…

I am home from work now and I can attest to the fact that the effects of the dream wore off many hours ago. Two bourbons, a bite to eat, the news, and it's off to bed where I do hope someone will offer me the undetectable, euphoric, and pain reducing herb once more....



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