DISTANCE

I have stated martial arts have more to offer than just self-protection techniques. But to what degree can the Five Concepts and the Five Mental Attitudes affect anyone’s life in a non-martial way? Can these concepts and attitudes be of use in the day-to- day life of a non-martial artist? Let us explore that possibility with the first of the Five Concepts. 

Maai, is the distance between defender and an attacker. The distance that is involved changes based upon the strategy the defender employs. This is a fluid situation. 

A safe distance is usually considered approximately six feet. This is considered the industry standard as far as self-defence training is concerned. 

For a person to strike at you from that distance they would need to move toward you and that should give you warning regarding their intent allowing you to escape to a safe place. 

If you respond to your attacker from that distance, your strikes will not have any power. And the same applies if you are too close to your attacker because then your strikes can be smothered, much like two boxers in a clinch. 

Even if you are capable of applying a joint-lock technique on the attacker, distance is important; the relation of your body to his can determine if the technique will be effective or not.


In our daily lives, we consciously or sub-consciously employ what might be called emotional distance. We allow loved ones to be close to us. They are figuratively, inside the six-foot safety distance discussed in the martial aspect of the Five Concepts. 

We open up to these loved ones telling them our deepest fears, our brightest joys, and our darkest thoughts. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable because of our trust in the relationships we hold dear to us. 

And yet this closeness, in terms of emotional distance, is a fluid concept and one that changes contextually. The emotionl distance increases if we feel slighted, betrayed, or otherwise injured, by a loved one. It is our emotional self-defence mechanism at work. 

This also works in a positive manner. We can extend our emotional distance to include total strangers. We can bring them into our circle if for no other reason than to be kind. 

In establishing an emotional distance by setting boundaries and enforcing them, we teach people how to treat us. 

Knowing yourself, your likes, dislikes, what you are willing to do and what behaviours you will not tolerate, helps your awareness of self. This knowledge will affect your judgement of what emotional distance needs to be set and with whom.

Martially speaking, awareness is what we are training for: to be aware of ourselves, our surroundings, unfolding situations, and of course, other people. 

And being self-aware in a non-martial way is the same thing. It serves to identify appropriate options that may help in circumstances we see as dangerous or unwanted. 

We can increase our distance emotionally when identifying undesired behaviour and expressing dislike by requiring the other person to stop that behaviour. If they do not comply, the emotional distance increases. If they apologize and respect our wishes, the emotional distance decreases.

We must also remember that others have their boundaries and as much as we do not like having our boundaries breeched the same can be said of our fellows.