Not Yet Nirvana

How hard do you suppose it might be for someone to suddenly adopt an existential life style of living authentically? The idea of freely choosing one’s own purpose, deciding what is meaningful, living one’s life on one’s own terms with no thought of what others may think nor any thought given as to how this choice of living will affect them, must surely be a costly venture. Can it be done without tearing apart relationships? Should that really even be a consideration? To be what many would consider a non-conformist, to have autonomy over one’s own life, is to transcend socialization, to resist the allure and not be seduced by what is essentially the easy ways of a conformist. But at what cost? Should it give one pause to consider, before embarking on a life of free choices, to live by your own standards, to do what you will, when you will it, and how you will it to be done, what the consequences will be on those we love? Aren’t such people, who choose to live so freely, reviled r

What makes you tick? Who are you and what do you stand for? What do you stand against? Most of us absorb our values from our parents, community, and culture. We grow up with much the same set of principals as our parents. If our parents are Christian then most likely we are Christian. The same can be said if our parents our Muslim or Jewish. It may even be that if our parents our liberal or conservative we will follow suit. Not all of us, however, fall into line. Some of us are rebellious. We question the premise these values we inherited were based upon. And if we don’t get the right answers, if the arguments for holding on to these values are weak, then we may discard them and adopt principles more reflective of our own morality. But we cannot do any of this unless we examine our lives. We need to discover what we are all about, what we will accept, and what we will abhor. We need to look inward to discover ourselves. For as Socrates said, the unexamined life is not wort

“Fake it ‘til you make it," is a version of 17th century French philosopher, Blasé Pascal’s famous wager, and commonly used in modern times to inspire positive change in people struggling with their place in society. (Huge apologies here to philosophers; Pascal was speaking of the existence of God and the modern version of his wager is most commonly used to help people struggling with addiction. Not being a philosopher, I am simply musing about adopting a philosophical approach that might help us through our daily grind.) It is daunting when you are overwhelmed or feeling sad, and not up to the rigors of working and living in your community. When someone says you’re not alone or that they know what you are going through as they have had similar experience, it doesn’t make you feel better. The mood you’re in feels like it owns you and no one could possibly understand what you’re going through. It might be more helpful if you had acknowledgement, psychological validation, th

“ Life without celebration is like a long road without an inn ,” so said the Laughing Philosopher, Democritus. Born in 460 BCE in Thrace, Democritus is considered the father of modern science. He claimed everything is made up of atoms, thus forming the Atomic Theory of the Universe. Democritus thought moderation and a measured life with as little grief as possible was the best way to live.  He did not hold to otherworldy or supernatural influences; he was a materlialist. People believed in the gods, he thought, because they were awed by thunder and lightning and catastrophic events. Democritus thought the people attributed the superhuman powers of gods as an explanation of these natural events. Democritus’s moniker, the Laughing Philosopher, was due to his amusement of the human condition. It is thought his mirth served him well allowing him to live to the ripe old age of ninety. The ethical system he posited drew from practical observation and he claimed cheerfulness as an ult

"Be content with what you you are and wish not change; nor dread your last day, nor long for it," so said the Stoic philosopher and Emperor of the Roman Empire, one of the five good emperors, Marcus Aurelius. Alas, I fall short of following the advice of the philosopher emperor. I find myself dissatisfied at times, but certainly not all the time, with what I am. Regret for past deeds, bad choices made, actions taken-or not taken, these things serve to haunt me and to steal my peace. Have you experienced this theft of happiness? It can be daunting, dealing with these feelings, especially if the cause is rooted in specific life-changing loss. Or if those you love the most in the world have been hurt by your actions. It's not just feeling blue, is it? No, it feels more akin to physical pain, as though a limb has been cut off. In such circumstance, it may be helpful to accept and embrace the pain, to allow yourself, carefully, to experience the feelings as they awaken.

I can no more cease to write than you can stop breathing. It is my salvation. Writing is my path to Nirvana, where suffering has been extinguished, and complete peace is realized, if you believe that sort of thing. I'm not sure that I do, but it's a nice sentiment. For me, since I must work at doing something that fails to excite me in any meaningful way, I must search for my own meaning. Writing is the vehicle I use now. It used to be that my path lay with studying martial arts, but life changes, the body wearies. I suspect many of us, no, most of us, are in the same boat. We are trying to manage our lives the best we can while searching for Nirvana, our own private paradise, or however we might  describe it. Viktor Frankl wrote Man's Search for Meaning. He posits that our meaning is what we choose it to be and that meaning may change day to day. He said, "“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” Following your passion